As the king crested the hill closest to the goblin’s sissoo tree the goblin sighed in exasperation. Will he never give up? No matter, I must put him at ease to ensure he lets his guard down. “Why hello old friend! We have to stop meeting like this.” The goblin called cheerfully to the king. King Triple-Victory did not respond as he cut the goblin down from the tree and continued his long walk back to the monk.
The king was tired
of this back and forth game with the goblin. “How dare this
insolent monk order me around as if he was master over all the lands.
When I finally learn what magic he uses to grow gems inside of fruit
I will hang him.” The king muttered to himself. The goblin smiled
gleefully to himself as he heard this. “This king is stubborn as he
is stupid. If I can’t convince him to give up this stupid quest I
might as well manipulate him into ruining it for me. For I see
darkness and greed in his heart.” The goblin thought to
himself.
As the king got closer and closer to the monk the goblin could feel the monk’s light pulling at his essence trying to contain him. This caused the goblin to cry out to the king. “O king, why do you trouble yourself with this task meant for an errand boy? Do you not think it would suit someone of lesser status than yourself? If it is because you want the secret to growing and harvesting gemstones I can give you that power.” The king replied: “If you give me that power you may have anything you want in the kingdom.”
As the king got closer and closer to the monk the goblin could feel the monk’s light pulling at his essence trying to contain him. This caused the goblin to cry out to the king. “O king, why do you trouble yourself with this task meant for an errand boy? Do you not think it would suit someone of lesser status than yourself? If it is because you want the secret to growing and harvesting gemstones I can give you that power.” The king replied: “If you give me that power you may have anything you want in the kingdom.”
And so the goblin
spent the rest of the trip back to the monk convincing him that the
only way he could have the power to grow gemstones would be to steal
it from the monk by murdering him. When the time finally came for the
king to do the evil deed he tricked the monk into laying on the
ground and then cut off his head. As soon as he did the goblin was
freed of the terrestrial chains the monk placed on him and was free
to morph into his true hellish form where he promptly devoured the
king.
Author’s Note: In the original source the goblin takes a liking to the king so he tells him the monk’s real plan. The monk’s plan is to sacrifice the king to the goblin so that he can become King of the Faeries. In my retelling I wanted the king to still kill the monk but I did not like how the goblin quickly convinced the king to kill this monk that the king had known for more than 12 years. I decided to play up the greed aspect of the king and make it so that the only reason he was helping the monk was because he wanted to be able to grow gems in fruit like the monk. I then had the goblin convince the king to kill the monk but instead of the king getting what he wants he is devoured by the goblin. I think this is a better ending to the original story because this time the moral of the story is to not believe what tricky goblins tell you.
Bibliography: These stories in Twenty-Two Goblins come from Arthur Ryder’s translation of the Sanskrit Vetālapañcaviṃśati.
I like that your story included more about how greedy the king was and how his greed influenced his actions toward the monk. I think the ending of your story is good because adding the death of the king makes the moral of the story more effective. Readers will recognize that the lesson of the story is about how greediness can be detrimental, and it caused the king to fall victim of the goblin's trickery.
ReplyDeleteHey Adrian,
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. It had a lot of good detail and I really like how you changed the ending of the story. The one thing I would maybe recommend to pay more attention to is punctuation. It sounds really minor and simple, but there were a few sentences that I had to go back and read because it ran together. But I think overall you did a really great job retelling this story.
Adrian,
ReplyDeleteThis was a really cool/unexpected ending to the story. I read the original story, so I wasn't expecting this. Honestly, your version makes more sense, especially when you think about the hellish nature of goblins. I also liked the extra dimension you added to the king. It makes him seem worthy of his ultimate end. Great job remixing this story!
Hey there Adrian. I really liked this story. That ending was an exciting part to read. I hadn't read the original story, but I'm sure it cna't hold a candle to your story telling. I enjoyed how much detail you put in to your story, it really made it an immersive experience. I really enjoyed this story and hope I get the chance to read more from you in the future.
ReplyDelete